An Abundance In Life

by Thomas F. O’Neill

There was a time when Robert Forner had it all, a good-paying job, a nice home, and a reliable car. But the news of the outsourcing of the industrial plant where he worked hit him hard. The company moved its plant to Ecuador for a higher profit margin, and Robert found himself without a job. The unemployment checks barely kept him above water, and it did not take long for all his savings to dry up.

To get by, he cut corners. He let his homeowner's insurance and his auto insurance lapse. He found himself without health insurance and felt like he was on a downward spiral to a place called ‘rock bottom.’

He only had one more biweekly check from his unemployment compensation which added up to six hundred and twenty-three dollars. The night before, the money was to be directly deposited into his bank account. He watched his entire world go up in flames. The firefighters could not save his home or his car parked in his garage, and the photographs of the life he once lived were also consumed in flames.

Now he was homeless.

He answered the fire marshal's questions the next day, but the cause of the fire was not yet known. It was learned in a matter of time that it was caused by a faulty circuit breaker that Robert had installed a month earlier. He found himself in dire straights with no insurance to fall back on. The road ahead looked bleak, and he was constantly thinking about his uncertain future.

He was embarrassed for being in the situation he found himself in, and he did not want to burden others with his misfortune. He did not turn to others in his community for help and put the entire matter on his shoulders. He also considered that he was never married and did not have a family to support. But at the same time, he felt very much alone with nothing more than the clothes on his back.

Nothing was holding him to his hometown because everything he ever owned, all his material possessions, were now gone. With the little money he had left, he boarded a Greyhound bus. He was now hitting the road and had no particular destination in mind. His money, unfortunately, did not last long.

He tried finding employment with temporary agencies but not having a phone or a permanent address. He did not have much luck securing a job he desperately needed to survive.

Eventually, Robert lived with society’s unseen, the so-called oppressed people, who live daily on the street. He went from shelter to shelter and sometimes waited in the back of restaurants to root through their garbage for scraps of food. The clothes on his back became worn and dirty, and the hair on his head and face became knotted up from being unkempt. He took on the appearance of the shadow people, the street people, the so-called bums. He was no longer recognizable from the man he once was.

He began to view his situation as some sort of punishment, but he was simply punishing himself. He, at times, went to various churches for help, but they all seemed to have the same rhetoric. He continuously heard the same words, “we do not have the resources or the funding to assist you at this time.” He felt he was being served right for foolishly losing everything he once owned.

As his days on the street moved into weeks and months, he found himself more and more being part of society’s forgotten souls. He spent many nights under an overpass with others who were down and out. They used a large medal drum as a makeshift stove and washed their clothes in a river, which was also their toilet. Robert hung out with these colorful characters that were fending for themselves. He tried to pass some of his time away by keeping a daily journal of his day-to-day activities.

The police one night came through with flashlights and threatened to have them locked up for vagrancy. The vagrants moved on, and Robert found himself sleeping alone behind dumpsters.

Other homeless people told him about the dangers of sleeping inside the dumpsters. Some of the homeless in the past were accidentally killed by being crushed to death by sanitation trucks. On the other hand, Robert chose those locations because in the darkness of night, no one sees him or bothers him while he sleeps. One dumpster in particular that he inhabited was behind a flower shop.

The flower shop is owned by Lillian Snodgrass a divorcee and mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old girl named Megan. They also love and care for a six-year-old golden retriever named Lacy.

Lillian’s former husband left her shortly after she became pregnant with Megan. She is struggling now to make ends meet through her flower shop. She chose to start the business on her own because it gives her the freedom to spend her days with her daughter. She also enjoys making her customers happy and gets great satisfaction knowing she is working for herself.

Her little daughter Megan is curious and loves placing the flowers into the jars and smelling them. She also enjoys the attention she receives from the various customers. She is her mother’s little helper and co-owner of their flower shop.

Twice a week in the early morning, Megan would watch the garbage truck lift their dumpster in the air and empty the contents into the back of a sanitation truck. Lacy, their golden retriever, protects little Megan by growling and barking at the sanitation workers.

Being two and a half years old, it did not take Megan long to figure out how to unlatch the screen door behind their flower shop. One morning Megan and Lacy went out back to the dumpster. Robert was then awakened by something warm and moist moving across his nose, and he soon realized that it was a golden retriever licking his face as he slept.

He quickly took notice of the toddler looking at him as the sanitation truck began to back up to lift the dumpster. The golden retriever growled and barked away at the truck. She was simply protecting her territory and little Megan. Distracted by a customer, Lillian was utterly unaware that Megan was outside behind the shop.

The sanitation workers continued backing their truck, and they were unaware that little Megan was directly behind them. The sanitation workers ignored the barking dog, so Robert quickly grabbed the little girl.

Lillian went out to see what the commotion was all about. She saw the sanitation truck back up over the homeless man cradling her daughter, Megan, in his arms.

Letting out a gut-wrenching scream as she began pounding on the sanitation truck, Lillian yelled for the sanitation workers to stop. The truck slowly moved forward. Lacy, also concerned for Megan, ran underneath the truck and began licking the little girl's face.

“Who the hell are you?” Lillian asked Robert looking past his disheveled appearance and foul odor.

“The little girl was about to be pinned between the dumpster and the truck,” he told Lillian, “and that is why I grabbed her the way I did.”

She immediately said to him, almost without thought, “let me help you,” the thought of a homeless man saving her daughter was playing on her mind. Her daughter’s life, after all, was worth more to her than all her worldly possessions.

“I don’t want to burden you,” he said, “not with my problems.”

The sanitation workers saw nothing more than a bum in Robert.

”Look,” said one of the sanitation workers, “if we see you here again, we will call the police.”

As Lillian looked upon Robert’s disheveled appearance. She saw something deep within. What she saw was compassion and deep caring warmth. She hadn’t seen it in a person in a very long time, and her heart went out to him, “I can’t bear it,” she said, “seeing you sleeping on the street.”

She took him in, cut his hair, shaved him, and found some of her former husband’s clothes for him to wear. They were a few sizes too big, but they were at least clean. She let him shower as she prepared something for him to eat. As the warm water cleansed Robert’s body, “I haven’t had a shower in eight months,” he thought, “how could I ever repay her for her kindness.”

“Wow, what a big difference,” she said as she gazed at the cleaned-up Robert. “You can sleep on our couch until you get back on your feet.”

As he ate, he told her his life story,

“Couldn’t the churches help you?” she asked him.

“They told me they didn’t have the resources to help,” he told her.

“What about social services?” she asked.

“Well, not being a resident of this county. I was told there is a long waiting list,” he said.

“That’s nuts, so you are forced to live on the street,” she said, “You have no family or friends that can help you?”

“I don’t want to burden them, just like I don’t want to burden you,” he told her, “not with my issues.”

“Families help one another,” she said, “when my husband left me, I had no choice but to turn to my family for help, and they helped me.”

“I got myself into this mess,” he said, “It’s not other people’s problem.”

“Well, I can’t have you living on the street,” she said, “I wasn’t raised that way, especially after you grabbed and pulled my Megan out of the way of that sanitation truck. She would have been crushed to death if you weren't there.”

As she poured her daughter and Robert a glass of Ice tea, “she is my entire life,” she said, referring to her daughter with deep emotion, “she’s the reason I get out of bed in the morning. I couldn’t live without her. I will help you get back on your feet. This is the least I could do for what you did.”

Little Megan walked over to Robert and worked her way onto his lap as he drank his Ice tea, “well, she doesn’t have a problem with you here,” Lillian said to Robert.

She was surprised to see her daughter take to Robert so quickly. Even Lacy, who is very protective of them, instantly liked him. She was far from being well off with her business, struggling to provide for her daughter, and had very little. She shared everything through everything she had with Robert.

It didn’t take her long to realize that Robert was a good person. He was bright and caring, and he was not the bum he appeared to be in his past. She was glad that he no longer had to fend for himself, day to day, on the street. As far as Lillian is concerned that life is behind him now.

To show his appreciation for her kindness, he began to help her with her flower shop. She also goes out of her way for him. She purchases the little things he needs, like razors and shampoo. She also buys him clothes but most importantly. Her daughter, Megan, adores him, and he loves them in return.

He enjoys taking Megan for walks at a nearby park with lacy. It was just one of his ways of being completely there for them; it was also a way of returning the kindness.

Lillian’s former husband is always in the back of her mind. As far as she’s concerned, he is truly the bum, not Robert. The former husband has always been full of himself and is never there for them. She felt pretty much abandoned, but she and her daughter went on with their lives.

Robert, on the other hand, seemed down to earth. It was as if his experiences on the street humbled him in many ways. He has a much deeper understanding and appreciation for what he now has, which is a much better life.

As Robert was walking through the park with Lillian, Megan, and their golden retriever,

“Weren’t you scared at night living on the street?” Lillian asked him.

“Well, it wasn’t so much fear that bothered me,” he said, “it was the memories of what I once had, my home, my car, the roof over my head. I was constantly reminded of what I had lost. Not having a place of my own was worse than fear.”

“I can’t imagine having to live like that,” she said, “no one should have to live like that.”

“But through your kindness and your generous, caring soul,” he said, “I have gained much more than what I have lost.”

“You saying that makes me feel as if we are supposed to be together in some way,” she said, “almost as if I am supposed to help you.”

“Every human being enters the world like a tourist,” he said, “with mystical baggage,” he then threw a stick for Lacy to retrieve, “some simply come into this world with more luggage than others.”

“I never heard it put that way before,” she said, laughing.

“To truly live,” he said, “we must discard our baggage.” Lacy quickly ran back with the stick, and as he threw the stick once again, he said, “the baggage inhibits us from truly finding joy in life. I am just beginning to understand that now.”

“Do I have a lot of baggage,” she asked him, laughing, showing off her girlish figure.

“No I think you have it all together,” he said humorously.

“So what do you mean by baggage?” she asked him.

“We are the sum total of all our experiences,” he said, “I do not think we come into this world like a clean slate, and I think there is residue from past lived experiences.”

“Past lived experiences,” she said, “you mean past lives?”

“It’s a possibility, and that makes sense to me,” he said, “we all come into the world with issues that must be resolved to grow and move on.”

“That makes sense,” she said, “so do you believe in soul mates?” she asked.

“Soul mates grow from one another,” he said, “and live in each other's hearts.”

“I guess that is a ‘yes’ answer,” she said, laughing, “I like how you put things together so that I could even understand.”

She enjoyed their evening walks and conversations, and he made her think about the things she rarely thought about. But most importantly, they were learning more about each other and the two life paths now merging into one.

He continued his daily journal writing as well of his day-to-day thoughts. The writing helped him gain a deeper grasp of his lived experience. As the days progressed, he grew closer and closer to his new family.

The customers have also grown to like Robert because he goes out of his way to please them. Lillian began to notice that many of her customers were going out of their way to buy flowers and talk to Robert.

One day Lillian saw Robert placing a large picture of a Rose on one of the walls in the flower shop, with the quote, “Some see the world as a beautiful Rose, while others focus on its painful thorns.” Robert experienced many painful thorns in his life, but now he recognizes the beauty of the rose.

He was genuinely grateful that the pain from his past was healing with time. He has been given a much greater appreciation of the beauty surrounding him through the healing process.

Lillian rescued Robert from his life on the street out of compassion. But that compassion soon turned into a deep love for Robert. He was different from the men in her past, and he seemed to go out of his way to find ways to accentuate all that is positive in their relationship. But at the same time, he was a human being working on ways to resolve his issues. Those issues are “the residue from the past,” as he preferred to put it.

He felt he should be contributing more to his new family life, which was instantly provided to him. His kind gestures were also continually playing on and resonating with Lillian’s heartstrings.

She was constantly reminded as she cared for Megan about how her former husband was driven by ambition and money. On the other hand, Robert was simply enjoying the moments with her and her daughter. She grew to rely on him, and she simply enjoys his company. Those deep intimate conversations with him, lacked, in her marriage with her former husband. She also cherishes Robert’s sensitivity to her needs and his brightness. He brought out things through their conversations in ways that she had never thought about. He wasn’t just caring; he had a spiritual side to him. She simply wanted him around because they both drew the best out of one another.

For the first time in his life, Robert is enjoying his new and instant family life. He also finds enjoyment in pleasing the customers at the flower shop. He enjoys the daily conversations with the regulars that come there to talk. The flower shop, in a way, has become therapeutic for him. Without realizing he is reaching out to the customers and in doing so, he is accentuating all that is positive within him. He was no longer unseen, undetected, a downtrodden homeless person. On the other hand, he never forgot where he once was and how far he had come in life.

“You seem content, Robert,” a young female customer said to him.

“Well,” he said, “I am.”

“Can you purchase it here,” she asked with a smile.

“Well, it is kind of a secret,” he said teasingly.

“I won’t tell a soul,” she said.

“Well,” he said, he then playfully leaned up close to her from across the counter. With a soft, sincere voice, he said, “in order to find happiness, joy, and love, in this world. You must bring it to others. Then and only then will you be truly content.”

“That makes sense,” she said, “so what is the charge,” she said with a smile.

“You already paid me,” he said.

“That was for the flowers,” she said teasingly.

“You paid me with your presence,” he said, “when you enjoy the company of others, others enjoy your company.”

“Well,” she said, “I will stop by again to pick up your pearls of wisdom,” as she left the flower shop, little Megan worked her way up on a stool behind the counter.

He was now Megan's surrogate father and loved her very much. But he also began to think more and more about the friends he made from his life on the streets. He began to go out a few times a week and visit them in the evenings. Some of them returned to living under the highway overpass. He would bring Megan along with him, and he would sit and talk with them about the issues of their daily lives.

He grew more and more determined due to his past experience of living there. He now wants people to know and understand that a deep segment of society is being overlooked and virtually ignored. That segment of society is America’s homeless, a life he once shared.

Every evening he copied down passages from his journal. He was compiling them for a book he began to write. Those written accounts of his experiences motivated him to become an advocate for the homeless.

It was the success of his book that drove him even further. He organized with civic and local church groups to establish halfway programs. The programs are geared to help individuals who lost their homes due to lack of employment find temporary shelter, training, and jobs.

That inner drive and determination on his part not only made those programs a reality but it increased the sales of his book. He and Lillian continue selling flowers though, and they continue sharing their life’s Journey.

He finally moved off Lillian’s couch with his now-adopted daughter, Megan, and a newborn baby girl. They are happily married. He may have lost everything he once owned in his previous life. But he now feels he gained the world in the process.

As Robert was signing his books in a bookstore, Lillian was sitting next to him, “You certainly have come a long way Mr. Forner,” a man said, waiting for Robert to sign his book.

“I would never have come this far if it wasn’t for the kindness and generosity of this woman,” Robert said, referring to Lillian.

“That kindness was returned in greater fold,” Lillian said, “besides, if he were not a good person, I would have thrown him out long ago. But we decided to keep him,” she said with humor in her voice.

His published account of where he was in life is essential to the readers. But where he is now and what he gained within is far more important to him. He may have lost everything he once owned. But through that experience, he has come to a greater understanding that his present moment with those he loves is all he truly needs.

Robert embraces the here and now with the important people in his life. For Robert losing all his material possessions, everything he ever owned gave him a much greater appreciation of the significant matters. Because what he possesses within and gives to others can never be lost. But most importantly, what he possesses within is far more precious than the fleeting images of his past.

Robert and Lillian are continuously learning that when you give of yourself abundantly, you gain an abundance in life and that can never be lost. Most importantly, soul mates grow from one another and live in each other's hearts.

With Love,

Thomas F. O’Neill

(800) 272-6464

introspective7@hotmail.com

Other articles, short stories, and commentaries by Thomas F. O'Neill can be found at the links below.

Link: http://thomasfoneill.blogspot.com

Link: http://pencilstubs.com

Link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/thomas_f_oneill

Link: http://www.myspace.com/thomas_f_oneill

Link: http://thomasfoneill.spaces.live.com

Link: http://www.pencilstubs.com/magazine/MagPage.asp?NID=2871

Link: http://www.pencilstubs.com/magazine/authorbio.asp?AID=412

E-mail: introspective7@hotmail.com